Tuesday, January 01, 2008

It's DN's top 27 singles of 2007

It took us a long time to do this (read: the length of two episodes of Ugly Betty) because we have been busy. But we're not even really that late, as this is only our third hour of being awake during 2008.

Here are the only songs that mattered during the past 12 months.



27. HADOUKEN! "LIQUID LIVES"

They're new-New-Rave and are already sick of themselves! It's Hadouken! at #27!





26. SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR "TODAY THE SUN'S ON US"

She likes tanning, and writing ballads! It's Sophia von Ellis-Bextor at #26!





25. ASHLEE SIMPSON "OUTTA MY HEAD (AY YA YA)"

She's horrible but somehow this song is good! Probably because of Timbaland! It's Ashlee Simpson at #25!





24. SNOOP DOGG "SENSUAL SEDUCTION"

He went pop and made his only song we care about! It's Snoop Dogg at #24!





23. KYLIE MINOGUE "2 HEARTS"

Even her bad songs are better than Ashlee Simpson's good songs! It's Kylie Minogue at #23!





22. NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB "GET LUCKY"

It's not as good as "The Get Go" but we suppose it will do! It's New Young Pony Club at #22!




21. SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO "HUSTLER"

They wrote the best song in the world about stealing records and we're completely obsessed with the one with the hair! It's Simian Mobile Disco at #21!




20. OMARION "ICEBOX"

It's the second good song Timbaland has made for a shit artist on this list! It's Omarion at #20!





19. CALVIN HARRIS "THE GIRLS"

Everyone hates him but us! It's Calvin Harris at #19!





18. KLAXONS "GOLDEN SKANS"

We're completely sick of them but we can't deny this song! It's Klaxons at #18!





17. MUSCLES "SWEATY"

Whooo! Ahhh! It's Muscles at #17!






16. LEONA LEWIS "BLEEDING LOVE"

No one in America knows who she is! It's Leona Lewis at #16!





15. KATE NASH "FOUNDATIONS"

We've just realized that "Pumpkin Soup" is a much better song and should be on this list instead of "Foundations"! It's Kate Nash at #15!





14. AMY WINEHOUSE "TEARS DRY ON THEIR OWN"

THIS. SONG. IS. GODDANN. FUCKING. AMAZING.! It's Amy Winehouse at #14!





13. BRITNEY SPEARS "GIMME MORE"

Leave her alone! It's Britney Spears at #13!





12. JUSTICE "D.A.N.C.E."

They're like Daft Punk only we know what they look like! It's Justice at #12!





11. ROBYN WITH KLEERUP "WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT"

It's the song that brought Robyn "back! Back!! BACK!!!!"! It's Robyn with Kleerup at #11!





10. GROOVE ARMADA FEAT. MUTYA BUENA "SONG 4 MUTYA (OUT OF CONTROL)"

People would have bought this if it weren't for the horrible video! It's Groove Armada feat. Mutya Buena at #10!





9. TRACEY THORN "RAISE THE ROOF"

We don't know why this wasn't #1 for 9 weeks this summer! It's Tracey Thorn at #9!





8. GIRLS ALOUD "CALL THE SHOTS"

They're basically just glorified models but we really like whoever writes their songs! It's Girls Aloud at #8!





7. RIHANNA "UMBRELLA"

Why even say anything! it's Rihanna at #7!





6. DRAGONETTE "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN"

The best song from the best album of 2007! It's Dragonette at #6!





5. M.I.A. "BOYZ"

She's the best pop star since Michael Jackson! It's M.I.A. at #5!





4. THE DYKEENIES "CLEAN UP YOUR EYES"

They still sound like Enrique Iglesias! it's the Dykeenies at #4!





3. HOT CHIP "READY FOR THE FLOOR"

They're like the Spice Girls only hairy! It's Hot Chip at #3!





2. TIGERCITY "ARE YOU SENSATION?"

They're the only good band in NYC! It's Tigercity at #2!





1. SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR "CATCH YOU"

She's the best pop star in the world and no one seems to care! IT'S SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR AT #1!





Take that, "Pitchfork"!

Labels:

5 Comments:

Blogger Ryan said...

YES YES YES

10:38 PM  
Blogger KKH said...

it's disconap at number one for 2008!

12:17 AM  
Blogger Keane said...

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, and aside from La Bex being amazing, cor me "Pumpkin Soup" really is quite good, innit?

...But where are Roisin Murphy and Siobhan Donaghy?

12:27 AM  
Blogger CEC said...

I know, I completely forgot poor Roisin. I had her one-liner written up an everything.

Siobhan was #28.

I also should have used "Paper Planes" instead of "Boyz" for #5. NOTHING BUT REGRETS

4:13 AM  
Blogger Onika said...

There's a typo with Omarion - he's #20 not #19 - or did you do that on purpose because he was molested (aaargh!!!)

9:02 PM  

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