Wednesday, January 09, 2008

We have a bone to pick with Janet Jackson

This is Janet Jackson and the video for her new single, "Feedback".

First off [Oh fucking hell, here we go again--Rants Ed.] we really do like "Feedback" as a song. It's catchy, has a good beat, and would be a great single, if it were sung by Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Ciara, Amerie, Cassie, Beyonce, Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, Rachel Stevens, Roisin Muphy, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Dragonette, or any one of the thousands of pop stars that are more qualified to sing a song about "plugging in" a "guitar" and creating "feedback" (phrases we can only take as thinly-veiled metaphors for YOU KNOW WHAT). We're not ageist, and we're all for empowering older women, especially those who have recorded Rhythm Nation, but Janet Jackson's Wikipedia entry says she's 41, and that shit don't lie. To quote the doorman at the club Leslie Mann and Katherine Heigl try to get into in Knocked Up, "You're old as fuck... but like, just for this club. Not for, you know, the Earth."

It's no secret that Ms. Jackson's record have been selling zilch as of late, which brings the question: why keep marketing her as a pop starlet? It obviously isn't working, and the same hardcore fans who bought Damita Jo and 20 YO (what was even on that album?) would buy something more sophisticated and mature. Why her label and management keep giving her songs asking people to "work her out" is completely beyond us. Granted, The Velvet Rope wasn't a masterpiece but at least it was a step in the right direction, and don't even stand here and front on "Together Again". That was the jam.

Anyway, suffice to say that, though we do not fully approve, we will probably get wasted in some club and dance around to "Feedback" sometime in the near future. Sad.

PS: Not to be nit-picky, but what is up with the Klaxons-lite video treatment? Although to be fair, we suppose all Klaxons ever do is rip off this and this, so whatever.

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Blogger KT said...

Somewhere, though, Janet has made a career out of that: I have fooled two people into thinking that this is the new Ciara single until they get to the bit about the period, whereupon they say "no, it has to be someone trashier, like Janet"

yeah, take that how you like.

I like the video, though. It's definitely a Saam Farahmand (right down to the shot of the name peeling away in liquid- that's straight from New Young Pony Club's "Ice Cream" video), but it's sexy and cool.

I would also like to say right now that this sort of blatant sex talk is far beneath La Bex and Miss Murphy. Dragonette, too, are not quite right for this song; they are either far more blatant or more subtle, but never as ploddingly "sexy" as this. Now, Ciara, Cassie, or Britney- they could all do a great job on this.

12:14 AM  
Blogger KT said...

Also, that weave deserves its own comment. Good Lord, is it a spectacular mess or what? I think it should fight Beyoncé's Ring the Alarm weave, and that the fight should be televised on pay-per-views.

12:17 AM  
Blogger CEC said...

I know she's made a career out of it, and that's why it's so frustrating and insane and boring. It's like look at someone like Cyndi Lauper, not that they have ever been very similar, but it's a definite case of one taking the high road and one taking the somewhat lower road: I'm not saying that recording the Great American Songbook or some shit will solve all of Janet's problems, but we have to start fucking somewhere, don't we?

As far as the video, I haven't checked but this is almost definitely a Hype Williams video, which is so obviously who Saam Farahmand aspires to be it's sort of painful to watch sometimes.

4:42 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Guys, the lady is quite rightly reminding all the lil booty shaking hoes who are half her age WHERE THEIR MOVES CAME FROM!

Not that I approve of this spectacle (especially the exploding columns of jiz surrounding her at the end) but I see her principle - those lil bubble-gum heifers need to know how it is, that's all.

3:45 PM  

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