Friday, February 22, 2008


We have the Teenagers record, and it looks like this:

It kind of looks like an American Apparel ad, which it sort of is, when you think about it.

Anyway, before we get to the part of the post where we see if the record gets a million per cent or not, let it be known that we are continually (that's CONTINUALLY) disappointed by bands that re-record great demos and rough cuts for a debut album. You;d think it wouldn't really matter if you glossed up a song that said the word "cunt" twice in every chorus. But whatever.

Here's what we think of the album.

1. "Homecoming": Amazing (It's kind of a testament to our lifestyle that at the tender age of twentysomethingteen we are completely morally immune to the word "cunt". CUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNTCUNT. See? Nothing).

2. "Love No": AMAZING (The line about watching Showgirls alone in your room 15 times = our lives circa 1998).

3. "Feeling Better": Very, very Good.

4. "Starlett Johansson": Not as Good as the demo version but Good nonetheless.

5. "Streets of Paris": Amazing, basically because it is the third track with a batter beat and the lead singer saying "c'est la folie!" in the GAYEST way imaginable. C'est la vie, belle du jour, vive la revolution, escargot, pret a porter, etc etc.

6. "Make It Happen": AMAZING.

7. "Wheel of Fortune": Not good.

8. "Fuck Nicole": Amazing.

9. "French Kiss": Meh. Actually NOT GOOD.

10. "Sunset Beach": Very good ("VODKA RED BULL". This album is so "2008" it's blowing our minds).

11. "Ill": can't really be bothered to listen to this all the way through for some reason. OH WAIT THE CHORUS IS AMAZING. It's the song we really liked when they played. AWESOME

11. "End of the Road": We actually tricked ourselves into thinking that this song was a cover of "End of the Road " by Boys II Men. How amazing would that have been? PS this song is not good, like at all. There's a really promising accelerated beat and vocal edit around the 2:10 where it sounds like some pretty heavy house shit is about to jump off, but we guess not. Apparently there's a great demo version of the Teenagers doing "My Heart Will Go On" somewhere, if we're to believe Crystal Castles (we don't). Anyway back to the half-assed review.

12. "Trouble": Ok.

13. "Starlett Johansson (Rory Phillips remix)": Sticking on a Rory Phillips/Boyz Noize/Kissy Sell Out/Erol Alkan/SMD/etc remix at the end of your record is a HORRIBLE idea, not because those producers aren't good but because it gives the impression that the record is a little bit "whatever" and needs a fashionable remix of the most recent single in order to trick cool people into buying it, which is exactly what people are expecting from the Teenagers anyway. It's an OK track though.

So, in conclusion, a brightly colored electro rock album from a band for who the most evident path is not always... oh who are we kidding. 10,000%, amazing.

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