Technosexuality must end

Recently, Disconap reported that London electronic artist Frankmusik had remixed Mika's "Relax (Take It Easy)" and made it listenable. While this is an amazing musical feat, we couldn't help but notice, via photographs on his Myspace profile, that it seemed he had taken to intimate relations with his keyboard. We took it upon ourselves to look the other way and savor his mini 8-bit emo masterpieces for the time being, thinking that perhaps this was just a one-off fluke, London is a strage place after all. But no. Frankmusik's obscene desires run much deeper than we thought.



DISGUSTING. Obviously Frankmusik is ILL and a MENACE TO SOCIETY. This unnatural union must cease at once. If a man can stick he weiner into a USB port, what's to stop him from using a TOASTER, a MICROWAVE, or even a COFFEE MACHINE? Our very way of live, as Americans, is in grave peril.

If you're on our side (our side being the side WITHOUT the degenerate piano-buggers), please go to Frankmusik's very first live performance, tomorrow at the Buffalo Bar in London and protest his abominable lifestyle. Don't let his amazing music fool you into dancing, celebrating the UK dance scene's new savior, or having any sort of fun whatsoever. The man is sick.