Calling Alan Braxe, calling Alan Braxe

We were almost fooled into liking a Coldplay single.



It starts off promising, with some rather nice strings and flutes thrown in the mix--that is until you realize that you are listening to Coldplay and that it's not going to go anywhere and it's going to be very boring and annoying.

That said, when Chris goes: "that's when I ruled the world" we were suddenly hit with a vision of a REALLY GAY FUCKING REMIX full of "UMCHA"s and vocal edits. We're hoping that Capitol have someone in the backroom this very moment cutting and splicing this mess into an Ibiza-shaped pop cookie (?) that's actually worth opening our iTunes for. Alan Braxe? Fred Falke? THE FREEMASONS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)? At this point we'd even bother giving Jason Nevins a call to take the wheel aboard the SS Coldplay and steer this baby in the right direction.

We guess in the end we really care about Coldplay because we loved the first record when it came out and Chris Martin is kind of foppish and nice-looking and they've always had the potential to be a big gay mess but never really have been and we've always had this strange sexual attraction to the weird-looking drummer with the big forehead for no apparent reason.

God, this song is bad.