Stick A Fork In Us, We're Done

In all our days on this Earth we have only found there to be two universal truths: everyone dies someday, and the Killers are shit. Like, really, really shit. Ever since their faux-'80s stylings of 2003, we've often wished someone would take it upon themselves to eradicate the Killers from this planet like the musical plague that they are, and each day we got closer and closer to taking on the task ourselves. After all, as the saying goes, if you want an immensely overrated and annoying band destroyed right, you have to do it yourself.

It's our policy to try to not talk about bands we hate on DN (especially when there are so many Sophia von Bextorvilles and Kylissia Minoguerites to blog about), but today is an exception. Readers, fuck it, the brimstone fires of hell hath frozen the fuck over, because fuck us, FUCK US, the new Killers single is amazing.



(On a related note, a big FUCK YOU to Universal for always making their videos non-embeddable. Way to tap into that great viral marketing tool called THE INTERNET, you simple fucks. If you want to watch the video it's here).

Anyway back to the end of humanity: we're pretty sure that in the first draft of the Book of Revelations there was a fifth horseman called Brandon Flowers who lead the whole pack of Pestilence and Famine or whatever with this fucking new Killers album. We wish we could say WE CAN'T but in actuality we most certainly CAN and frankly we're not sure how we feel about it all. All we can say is their next single better be shitty or we are hanging up our dancing shoes and joining Rachel Stevens in her forgotten, underground pop bunker. UGH.

We'd like to declare October 14th, 2008 National "Womanizer" Day

We will confess, under oath, that when we first heard "Womanizer" we were a bit underwhelmed. After the amazing run that Blackout had (and by "amazing" we mean "Gimme More"), it all seemed too much, too soon--new album, new single, supposed mental stability. "Womanizer" was a little bit of fluff on the end of a year that saw Britney plunge to the deepest depths (VMAs, anyone?), and score some of the musical highlights of her career. Interesting stuff, right? Yeah. Well, surprise, turns out that "Womanizer" is the best Britney single since "Slave 4 U". HOW'S THAT FOR A TWIST.

Anyone who reads this blog (i.e. two people) knows that Britney is one of our favorite modern pop stars: a completely blank canvas for genius marketing directors and press agents to craft what they think the best pop star in the world should be. Yeah, it almost destroyed her, but "Womanizer" is hopefully the light at the end of a dank, dark, tunnel.

Get into it guys. GET. N. 2. IT.

PS: "You say I'm crazy/I got your crazy" is such a better line that "It's Britney bitch".