It Came From WTF: Lil' Mama's so fucking Zwinky

If you've been on Myspace anytime within the last 3 million years, you've probably seen those insanely annoying ads for "Zwinkys" ("Zwinkies" we guess? Does grammar even matter anymore?), which, when we've allowed ourselves to think about them for no longer than four seconds, seem to be some sort of icon generator for "instant messaging" your "friends". Or something. Anyway, our interest has been slightly peaked by these actually rather frightening-looking pixelated hoebags because, well, of THIS:



Wow. Just wow. We had no idea this (once again for the record) INSANELY ANNOYING advertising campaign had reached places OUTISDE OF MYSPACE, let along primetime television. And the fact they Jive have decided to put all their cards on the table and market Lil' Mama (who, may we remind all of you, is actually a GOOD RAPPER) to the tween demographic kind of breaks our souls--OK, we guess our souls are more just sort of sprained, but you can't deny the awesomeness of "Lipgloss" and "No Music". Oh well, we guess that just makes us EVEN MORE like 15-year-old girls than we thought.

EDIT: OK, HOW FUCKING CREEPY IS IT when the Zwinky WHISPERS "'Voice Of the Young People' comin' soon!" What in the holy name of fuck?!?! We assume that's what Mama's album is called or something, but Jesus, we thought we were in Children of the Corn or some shit!

EDIT 2: Sorry, we didn't mean to make a 900 word post about fucking Zwinky, but this 10-year-old girl just slayed the universe.



Back to your previously scheduled blogging.

It Came From WTF: Modest Mouse's New "Dashboard" Video Trailer

We've never been big fans of Modest Mouse, but our interest was slightly piqued when Johnny Marr joined the band as an official member last year. As expected, this hasn't made Modest Mouse good and actually kind of makes us question Johnny's mental stability. Isaac Brock's, however, remains stable--stably insane, that is.



We CANNOT BELIEVE Johnny Marr is involved in this mess. It felt like Modest Mouse guesting on an episode of Spongebob, which would be actually kind of rad.

Anyway.

:(

It Came From WTF: The Arctic Monkeys Hurt Our Brains

We were lucky enough to be invited to a listening party for the new Arctic Monkeys album, Favourite Worst Nightmare, last month at a swank recording studio. We kind of weren't allowed to talk about it, but given that Domino has just posted the new video for comeback single "Brianstorm" on YouTube, we guess we can now?



First the album:

1. There's a song that sounds like Belle & Sebastian "down the chip shop" or something
2. It sounds like they've acquired a double-kick drum
3. It's good.

Secondly, the video:

1. Is there a David Lynch in the house? Perhaps the Monkeys have moved on from Saturday Night and Sunday Morning as cinematographic inspiration and onto Twin Peaks?
2. We're sure the dancing ladies are some sort of allegory to the band's international pop success and how the fame machine chews you up and so on and so forth, but it was all a bit flashy and seizure-inducing, no?
3. We kind of like this video
4. But we miss the fat one.

Favourite Worst Nightmare is out we-can't-remember-when-but-we're-sure-it's-in-April on Domino, who we're sure you'll agree are killing it, what with just having signed Bonde do Role. Prize!

It Came From WTF: Panic! at Sports Illustrated

We've never picked up an issue of Sports Illustrated in our lives, except maybe to be mentally scarred as children. The magazine exists completely outside of our cultural realm, but the fact that the latest issues combines both the tragically un-hip Music and the compulsory Swinsuit Issues, we kind of had to take a deep breath and check it out. At least 90% of the magazine is truly abominable, full of models we've never seen and artist we've never listened to (see: Kenny Chesney), but a certain photoshoot caught our eye, then our heart, then weaseled its way into our minds and chewed its way back out.





It fascinates us that somewhere, someone thought this was a good idea--four asexual post-teens wearing more make-up than model Julie Henderson--and yet, we can't stop looking at it. We fucking love Panic! (whatever) and if there was ever a band created for such a retarded premise as a music and swimsuits issue, they're it. It would kind of made more sense if the musicians were the swimsuit models, but obviously logic isn't Sports Illustrated's forte, it would seem. Then again half naked Panics probably wouldn't appeal to their target demo: as Steve Coogan says in 24 Hour Party People, "That reminds me, I must pick up some chicken drumsticks on the way home."

Check out more photos over at So More Scene.

It Came From WTF: Scissor Sisters on Passions

OK. It's been a tumultuous ride between DN and the Scissor Sisters. When they first came onto the scene in like, 2002, we (very stupidly) wrote them off as just another hipster rip-off troupe who wore too much make-up and played Luxx way too often (remember, this was during the height of electroclash/NYC douchebaggery, and our Fuck You Alert System was permanently set to red). Then of course, Scissor Sisters came out, and we kicked ourselves for not going to see them play 40,000 times when we had the chance, and were reduced to groveling at the feet of their publicist like every other two-bit hack in town. Oh, the horror! We learnt our lesson.

Flash-forward to last fall, Ta-Dah is released, and we buy it (BUY IT) on street date (ON STREET DATE) and get a poster with our purchase (A GLOW-IN-THE DARK BLACK VELVET POSTER, WHICH IS AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE DIDN'T WANT TO CARRY IT BUT WE HAVE ONE REGARDLESS). Now if that's not fandom then we don't know what is. Let's be honest, many of the songs on Ta-Dah kind of suck (thanks Elton) but "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" and "Kissin' You Off" etc were pretty amazing.

But nothing prepared us for this.



Or for that matter this.



We've never watched an episode of Passions (having something vaguely resembling a life), but when we first heard that our beloved Sisters were doing an on-air soap opera performance, we somehow conned ourselves into believing that they would use this opportunity to reinsert their campy tongue-in-cheekness that had been a little sobered up (OK, relatively) on Ta-Dah, and not to, you know, shamelessly flog their flopping CD to the culturally untamed populations of Middle America. We were wrong.

This is the sound of desperation. Pure and unfiltered. It saddens us that a band once so fun and kind of revolutionary, when you really think about it, squandered their unique chance to REALLY infiltrate the American mainstream and make pop culture history, just to pander to a demographic that could seriously give a shit. They're named after a lesbian sex act, for Christsakes! Did the Sex Pistos go on Coronation Street for some hussy to play their album in 1977? No, they went on The Today Show and fucked shit up. We mean, where was Babydaddy making it with some closeted gynecologist character or something?

It's time to go home, listen to "Monkey Baby" on repeat and remember better days. :(