The most amazing video you will ever see

ARE. WE. RITE???

And heaven and angels sing

O hai, Jordin Sparks.



It kind of pains us to write this below that photo of Jordin looking all snappy and cute, but it must be said: her music is really bad. We're glad she won Idol and all, not that we watched that season because it was horrible, but good for her. But like all Idol winners post graduation (except for our dear beloved K. Clark), her debut album is the pits. Except for, of course, the interplanetary amazingness that is "No Air". Say it with us:

"No Air" is amazing.

Again.

"No Air" is amazing.

AGAIN.

"NO AIR" IS AMAZING!

Now we have one more reason to rejoice: someone's finally done a remix that we might be able to play to other human beings without inciting a lynch mob (we DJ'd the original--and epicly amazing--"No Air" at one of our parties and the entire bar turned into one big stink eye. To quote the bartender: "I just threw up in my mouth a little.") Obviously this is not a testament to our impeccable taste in pop music but a problem with our society at large.

Anyway the remix is by Doug Grayson and is called the "Cruel Intentions" remix (LOL ETC):

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - No Air (Doug Grayson Cruel Intentions remix) (YSI)

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - No Air (Doug Grayson Cruel Intentions remix) (zShare)

Ok, it's probably not as good as it could have been but until Stuart Price or Alan Braxe gets on that shit this is as good as its going to get. So quit your whining.

Because that really needed to be gayer

So, if you watch the nationally televised train wreck that is American Idol, you'll have noticed that current Idol Jordin Sparks performed her duet Chris Brown, "No Air", on the show last night. There's a YouTube video. Here's the YouTube video.



It gets SUPER awkward after the second chorus (you can only really riff on lyrics about, um, suffocation for so long), and Chris sounds like he gargled with lighter fluid beforehand (you better work), but what can we say, after months of pretending to not like this song it has totally grown on us. Call us crazy [You're crazy--Ed.]

But, like with all things in general, the song got us wondering... wow, could this get any gayer? And just like a cheerleader in a slasher movie asking "Can this get any worse?" THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY. Turns out Jason Nevins remixed "No Air" for the CD single, and it's fucking high octane as shit. We suddenly feel like picking up a recreational crystal meth habit. Thanks Jason!

Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown - No Air (Jason Nevins remix)