And heaven and angels sing

O hai, Jordin Sparks.



It kind of pains us to write this below that photo of Jordin looking all snappy and cute, but it must be said: her music is really bad. We're glad she won Idol and all, not that we watched that season because it was horrible, but good for her. But like all Idol winners post graduation (except for our dear beloved K. Clark), her debut album is the pits. Except for, of course, the interplanetary amazingness that is "No Air". Say it with us:

"No Air" is amazing.

Again.

"No Air" is amazing.

AGAIN.

"NO AIR" IS AMAZING!

Now we have one more reason to rejoice: someone's finally done a remix that we might be able to play to other human beings without inciting a lynch mob (we DJ'd the original--and epicly amazing--"No Air" at one of our parties and the entire bar turned into one big stink eye. To quote the bartender: "I just threw up in my mouth a little.") Obviously this is not a testament to our impeccable taste in pop music but a problem with our society at large.

Anyway the remix is by Doug Grayson and is called the "Cruel Intentions" remix (LOL ETC):

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - No Air (Doug Grayson Cruel Intentions remix) (YSI)

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - No Air (Doug Grayson Cruel Intentions remix) (zShare)

Ok, it's probably not as good as it could have been but until Stuart Price or Alan Braxe gets on that shit this is as good as its going to get. So quit your whining.

Because that really needed to be gayer

So, if you watch the nationally televised train wreck that is American Idol, you'll have noticed that current Idol Jordin Sparks performed her duet Chris Brown, "No Air", on the show last night. There's a YouTube video. Here's the YouTube video.



It gets SUPER awkward after the second chorus (you can only really riff on lyrics about, um, suffocation for so long), and Chris sounds like he gargled with lighter fluid beforehand (you better work), but what can we say, after months of pretending to not like this song it has totally grown on us. Call us crazy [You're crazy--Ed.]

But, like with all things in general, the song got us wondering... wow, could this get any gayer? And just like a cheerleader in a slasher movie asking "Can this get any worse?" THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY. Turns out Jason Nevins remixed "No Air" for the CD single, and it's fucking high octane as shit. We suddenly feel like picking up a recreational crystal meth habit. Thanks Jason!

Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown - No Air (Jason Nevins remix)

Somehow, we are not sick of talking about the new Goldfrapp record

Here is a slightly dated photo of Alison Goldfrapp, flanked by two women dressed as wolves.



...in leather bikinis. Gives a whole new meaning to "sheep in wolves clothing", right? (Actually not really).

It's been no secret around these parts that we've been "spinning" the new Goldfrapp album--one that we promptly filed under "UTTERLY AMAZING"--non stop. The great thing about the Frapp of Gold releasing a folky throwback to Felt Mountain is that there's now ample room for amazing producers to make amazing remixes of already amazing songs (see the undeniably genius Hercules and Love Affair), which is possibly our favorite thing in the world.

You may remember Kimono Kops from when we basically had a coronary over his Sally Shapiro and Bloc Party remixes last year, when he changed an awesome song and a shit song, respectively, into Amazing Pop Songs. He's now repeated the formula with "A & E" by Goldfrapp, and while we will state for the record that the original is so good it might just re-inflate the American economy and ensure Barack Obama's presidency (again, not really), the remix remains Very Good Indeed. And guess what?

...


IT IS HERE AND IT IS NOW.

Goldfrapp - "A & E (Kimono Kops remix)"

Don't thank us.

Clowning around with Goldfrapp

...get it?



Not our proudest moment.

Anyway, this amazing (and we do mean AMAZING) Metronomy remix of "Happiness" has been floating about the Internet, which is one thing, but it also features guest vocals by the Teenagers, which is ANOTHER, albeit totally awkward and out of place. Whatever, approved, etc etc.

Goldfrapp - "Happiness (Metronomy remix feat. The Teenagers)"

ONE PURE THOUGHT

Hot Chip's newest release, Made in the Dark (Astralwerks/DFA) dropped in early February and we have been raving about it for months now. We would write about them everyday if we could to be honest.

Well, we've got a treat for you. Here's a remix of the track, "One Pure Thought" by Streetlab.

Check it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hot Chip - One Pure Thought (Streetlab Mix) (mp3)

Here are the Ting Tings

...again.



Despite slipping slightly off of the Ting Tings bandwagon this week due to their new single "Great DJ" not being QUITE as amazing as we first thought upon multiple listens, when we heard Sir Calvin of the Harrisons (no relation to Her Majesty Sophia von Bextovilles) was doing a remix of "Great DJ" our interest was, shall we say, "re-piqued". The remix is FUCKING BRILLIANT and definitely restores "Great DJ"'s status as a song that's OK to listen to sometimes, when one feels a little dance-y.

The Ting Tings - "Great DJ (Calvin Harris remix)" [zShare] [YSI]

The remix is 100% amazing until the 1:30-minute mark, where it brutally and suddenly drops to approximately 94% amazing. Then when the verse picks up again, it's back to 100%. Magical.

PS: We want to make "The drums the drums the drums the drums etc" the "Umbrella-ella-ella" of 2008. I.e.: "What does Ross Jarman play in the Cribs again?" "The drums the drums the drums the drums etc".

PPS: THE TING TINGS JOKE OF THE DAY:

Q: What are the Ting Tings always careful to tidy up after they've eaten a box of cookies?
A: The crumbs, the crumbs, the crumbs, the crumbs, the crumbs, etc.

SUNNY DAY SETS FIRE FIRE FIRE

Sunny Day Sets Fire is releasing a remix EP, Stranger / Remix EP and a full length album is to follow in the Spring. The EP features 'Stranger,' the first single off of their upcoming full length and remixes of SDSF songs by artists such as CSS, The Cool Kids, XXXChange from Spank Rock, Mad Decent/Diplo, etc.

Check it:
Tracklist

01. Stranger [Download MP3 here for free!]

02. Stranger (The Slips Remix)
03. Wilderness (CSS Remix)

04. Adrenaline (XXXChange Remix)

05. Stranger (The Cool Kids Remix)
06. Brainless (Baron von Luxxury Remix)

07. Brainless (Mad Decent Remix)
08. Stranger (Radio Edit)

Kylie Minogue has 79% redeemed herself

Why so happy, Kylie?



Perhaps it is because you're having a swim in a heated pool, but then again it could be because your new single "Wow" is being generally well received by the public, and that whole "2 Hearts" debacle seems well behind us. Well done, etc.

Personally speaking, we think that "Wow" is the best Kylie single since "Come Into My World", and with a little bit of diplomacy and deep meditation we have gotten over the fact that "2 Hearts" should have been the best Kylie single since "Come Into My World", but wasn't. Whatever, the world turns.

One of the many remixes of "Wow" that is making the rounds at the moment is the CSS remix, which is actually way better than how CSS usually fare with other people's songs. Anyway, it is here and it is now.

Kylie Minogue - "Wow (CSS remix)"

Wowowowowow etc.

Very quickly

Why The Freemasons are amazing, Article 1, Exhibit A


fig. 1


fig. 2

Are we right.

PS: We will go back to being a good (read: bad) pop blog very shortly.

Finally someone makes "2 Hearts" not Goldfrapp

We love Kylie Minogue--really we do. We know we have been serving the hardcore hate when it comes to "2 Hearts", but really it's just like when your kid gets a B on their 5th grade geography test instead of an A. It's like, come on. It's not rocket science.

BUT Alan Braxe (who we, need we even say it, FUCKING LOVE) has just remixed "2 Hearts" and made it fucking amazing. We liked the Pimps and Whores remix, but we mean, no one can touch Alan.

Kylie Minogue - "2 Hearts (Alan Braxe remix)

Somehow we thought this post would be funnier... maybe it's because it's 4:47AM and we're tired as fuck after spending more money than we should have on alcohol and loud music.

:(

The new Kimono Kops remix is AMAZING

This is Thomas Dören, a.k.a. Kimono Kops.



Kimono Kops is currently our favorite remixer, having already reworked M.I.A.'s "Boyz" and made Sally Shaprio's "Hold Me So Tight" even better than it was previously (a magical POP FEAT unto itself, music fans). This morning we got a veritable sonic treat in our inbox, as Thomas has emailed us his brand new remix: Bloc Party's "I Still Remember".

Bloc Party - "I Still Remember (Kimono Kops remix)"

This is the perfect remix because it manages to turn a really shit song into a really good song. The problem with the original version of "I Still Remember" was that it was trying so hard to be all pensive and gay it completely forgot to have a decent chorus that wasn't a half-assed attempt to rip off Bronski Beat. On Kimono Kops' version though, the song is transformed into a bouncy electro-bubble of worship and longing, as we expect Kele & Co. intended the song to be in the first place. This is pop perfection and if the world is really going to degenerate into ecological disaster over the next 50 years, it will all be worth it just so a remix like this could be made.

So well done Kimono Kops, we can't wait to hear what you have up your sleeve next...

This past week we got an email from Neon Coyote

..and it contained this Cassie remix.

Cassie - "Me & U (Thoroughly Banging Neon Coyote Remix)"

It's of "Me & U" and it's very good. Quite frankly we've only heard Cassie a few times (we know, we are a horrible pop music blog) but this makes us want to listen to her more. Well done Neon Coyote, etc.

Just for the record, we have changed our minds about the current Sophie Ellis-Bextor single

It's goddamn fucking amazing.

Also there's a really good remix version bouncing around the internet, and it's even better.



And here's a live version, just to keep you interested.



Brilliant.

Ok, everyone just back up for a quick sec

We know we just posted about Swedish europop princess Sally Shapiro, but since then a few critical points have been brought to our attention:

1. She is amazing.
2. Sally isn't her real namd and she doesn't perform live.
3. There's a fucking AMAZING (and we do mean AMAZING) remix of her already AMAZING (and we mean AMAZING) song "Hold Me So Tight" by Kimono Kops.

Sally Shapiro - "Hold Me So Tight (Kimono Kops remix)"

This may possibly be Sally's Best Song Ever™. It's like the best Ladytron song they never wrote (and probably never will, are we right). Sally's record is coming out on Paperbag (same label as Tokyo Poilce Club) so be sure to cop that shit as soon as it hits your local indie retailer.

Frankmusik has been sleeping... with his keyboard

Outrageous. But he has also remixed "Relax" by Mika, making a bad song good.

Mika - "Relax (Frankmusik Remix)" [streaming via MySpace]

You guessed it. AMAZING.

We're not at all drunk anymore*, and we still think Kate Nash is the best thing since sliced bread

Why hello Kate.



Even though our blood/alcohol level is back to normal, we STILL think your new single is AMAZING and possibly worthy of Best Song Ever™ status. To celebrate this fact, we will now post the Metronomy remix of "Foundations". BEHOLD.

Kate Nash - "Foundations (Metronomy Remix)"

So good. Kate Nash > Lily Allen x 1000000.


*LIES!

Dirty disco youth remix Justice and Uffie with brilliant results

Dirty Disco Youth has remixed "The Party" by Justice feat. Uffie for their July 2007 mix. It's really good and here it is.

Justice feat. Uffie - "The Party (Dirty Disco Youth MASH)"

So basically ladies, don't wear stilettos if you plan on geting wasted because falling IS BAD AND DANGEROUS.

The entire mix is also amazing. Download below, readers:

The Black Ghosts Continue Their Reign On Our Hearts

Oh my. After seizing and conquering our helpless ears with their indie-disco pulp and Best Song Of The Summer™ "The Repetition Kills You", The Black Ghosts have now taken to remixing so-so Gossip single "Listen Up!" and making it AMAZING. That's right, AMAZING. Take a moment out of your Monday and cold check it:

The Gossip - Listen Up! (The Black Ghosts Remix) [streaming via Myspace]

Is there anything these guys can't do? God, we fucking love them. We can't wait until the album comes out and kills everything. EVERYTHING!!

"Fit" DJs Remix London Teenagers For Your Electrobanging Pleasure

Every now and again, our email inbox decides to yeild something other than spam, Myspace comments and the desperate demands of some poor label intern. The other day, we got a nice little message from London-based Dj duo The C90s, with a link to their brilliant remix of Late of the Pier's "Space and the Woods". Now, "Space and the Woods" being LOTP's Best Song™, we were a little skeptical of it being rehashed. But the C90s boys knew what they were doing, apparently: their remix sounds like something MSTRKRTF would do, only it doesn't bore us to tears and make us want to shoot up every Korg in sight with an AK-47.

Late of the Pier - "Space and the Woods" (C90s Remix)

As a bonus, someone on the C90s Myspace page described the "one on the left" as "fit", which we found funny... in a good way.

We'll definitely be spinning it next time we DJ (March 31st at White Room, ahem).

Shiny Toy Guns: Supersonic Overdrive

Mmm, Shiny Toy Guns. Despite not being able to decide whether they're Depeche Mode or Gwen Stefani, and having the shittest band name ever, they've wormed their way into our hearts with their bombastic debut album We Are Pilots (which we believe has been released approximately 67 times now, but since they've landed a spot on the UniversalMotown roster, perhaps they'll stay there). WAP makes us feel like we're at some weird dance at our high school circa 1999, in the best way a feeling like that could be experienced. Check out the Boyz Noize remix of "Le Disko" below, and you'll get what I mean.

Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko (Boyz Noize vocal remix)

The band performed on Letterman (I know, WTF?) earlier this week. Cold check it!