Basically, what we're gonna do is listen to this song about 20 times today

Arewefuckingrite?



That was the new Vanessa Hudgens video for her brilliantly titled song "Sneakernight". We've been happily ignorant of the whole High School Musical phenomenon, and after listening to this song we're all like, maybe we were kind of wrong? We dunno, but if all Vanessa's other songs sound anything like "Sneakernight" (probability: 1,000,000:1) we're about to get into her back catalog like whoa (we haven't said "like whoa" since 2003, could someone please bring that back? Do we have to do everything ourselves?). Don't worry, we still think that Radio Disney is a thinly-veiled governmental brainwashing operation (only half joking), but we are about to be the only people to get down to this song in a club when someone plays it out. Like, the only people in the entire club. Wait, here are some numerics:

1. 2thewalls pointed out that "Sneakernight" is basically a Nikka Costa song, which it really, really is. Wikipedia has next to no info on the song, but we highly suspect Nikka had something to do with this. If this becomes some sort of Mylène Farmer/Alizée shit (Google it--French Pop Ed) we will seriously freak out.

2. WHAT IS IT WITH CELL PHONES IN VIDEOS (see: "No Air", that awful new Jennifer Hudson song).

We're tempted to give "Sneakernight" a score of 85% Amazing. Premature? Probably. But rationality has never been our forte (We've noticed--World).

This isn't quite pop music but it will do

It can't be all Kylie and Sophie in here all the time ("Yes it can"--World), and this video is quite good and makes us want to take a nap, not that it's boring us or anything, but it is very nap-worthy...



...don't you think?

Anyway it's for Chairlift's new single called "Planet Health". There are quite a few references to P-IN-THE-VAGEE, if you catch our drift.

Yup. It's a Werid YouTube Rut™

YouTube links are so much easier to come up with than "content" and "interesting things to say", wouldn't you agree, readers?

:(

The Grates have a new video out, and it's pretty brilliant. We've loved the Grates ever since their first little EP The Ouch. The Touch a couple of years ago. Normally we are not really into music recorded in sheds* unless it is Timbaland's shed, but it's a 100% Amazing record.

Anyway here's the video for "Burning Bridges" from the new album.



We think that John should have perhaps given Planned Parenthood a call, in retrospect.

*It was really recorded in a shed.

We were going to post that God-awful Pussycat Dolls video

... and talk about how we clearly mistook the word "groupies" for the word "boobies" in the chorus, but fuck that. Muscles has a video for his new single "The Lake", which is one of the best songs on his 2007 album Guns Babes Lemonade. It's well over 100% Amazing (maybe like, 144% Amazing) and demands your utter attention. Here and now.



Oh and also

Drugs, sex, rock 'n' roll etc etc

So apparently there was a video for "Jesus Doesn't Love Me", the fucking amazing track off of the Dragonette album no one bought but should have because it's the best pop record since at least "Fever". Yeah, we guess the world fucked up on that one. So any way, the band didn't like the video so they shelved it, but someone has put it on YouTube* and it's kind of good. It goes on for a little bit with the whole table-dancing "motif", but then SPOILER ALERT they recreate the Last Supper and you're like "OK, I guess that's cool". It's worth watching.

Video: 70% Amazing.
Song: 1,000,000% Amazing.

*This is probably old news but whatever.

We're desperately searching for the humor in this...

..and we're coming up short. We were never a fan of the New Kids on the Block, by virtue of us being a little too young when they first came out, and of all their songs being completely shit. If we hadn't just eaten a fat ass chicken sandwich we could positively taste the pure desperation etched on the face of each of these men (especially Danny, who has enough face for the five of them).

Not OK.

We'd like to take this opportunity to give the Ting Tings' album a solid score of 90% Amazing

Like so:



Normally we're against spending money on new pop music when we can get perfectly good promotional CDs from record labels, but we saw the whole "Buy our vinyl and we'll give you downloads" deal with the Ting Tings album and we thought what the hell, it's only $11.99 (on sale?!?!?!??!!??!). Anyway we bought it (along with a Cocteau Twins record and one of those Hacienda "OMG Manchester in the early '90s was brilliant" compilations that rears it's head every couple of years) and we must say, if we've ever been confronted with a 90% Amazing pop album, We Started Nothing is it. Frankly we sort of expected a mathematical equation similar to "That's Not My Name" + "Great DJ" + some other songs = 60% Amazing pop album, but in fact almost every song is brilliant in some way that's different from "30-somethings on drums and vocals and some sampling".* "Be The One" is like the GoGo's produced by Vince Clarke (WE KNOW) and "Shut Up and Let Me Go" might actually make us give a shit about iPods for the first time since 2003. It's fucking AMAZING. Possibly single of the year (it's not, but you know what we mean).

So yeah, the Ting Tings are officially amazing. Good on them.

*This post is kind of all over the place writing** wise, we apologize.
**"Writing".

Calling Alan Braxe, calling Alan Braxe

We were almost fooled into liking a Coldplay single.



It starts off promising, with some rather nice strings and flutes thrown in the mix--that is until you realize that you are listening to Coldplay and that it's not going to go anywhere and it's going to be very boring and annoying.

That said, when Chris goes: "that's when I ruled the world" we were suddenly hit with a vision of a REALLY GAY FUCKING REMIX full of "UMCHA"s and vocal edits. We're hoping that Capitol have someone in the backroom this very moment cutting and splicing this mess into an Ibiza-shaped pop cookie (?) that's actually worth opening our iTunes for. Alan Braxe? Fred Falke? THE FREEMASONS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)? At this point we'd even bother giving Jason Nevins a call to take the wheel aboard the SS Coldplay and steer this baby in the right direction.

We guess in the end we really care about Coldplay because we loved the first record when it came out and Chris Martin is kind of foppish and nice-looking and they've always had the potential to be a big gay mess but never really have been and we've always had this strange sexual attraction to the weird-looking drummer with the big forehead for no apparent reason.

God, this song is bad.

You know...

Kylie should really look into spending a little bit more money on her stage shows. This whole shoestring budget thing just isn't working out for her.

We've gone and made a Muxtape

A "Muxtape" is not a mix tape.



It's a Web site where you can make streaming, virtual mix tapes and spread your favorite music around the Internet. It's what would have happened sooner had Napster not destroyed the way music is made, consumed, and marketed.

Sometimes we miss Napster so much.

Anyway, by clicking on the little link below you can check out our Muxtape for Summer '08 and let us know what you think. It's new-ish Pop songs mixed in with some old-ish Disco songs we've been dancing around our bedrooms to for the past couple of days.

This is our Muxtape.

Here's the tracklisting with a little bit of information about each track.

1. Little Boots - "Stuck on Repeat": AMAZING.
2. Don Armando's 2nd Ave. Rhumba Band - "Im An Indian, Too": Amazing, though slightly offensive. I BELIEVE THE CORRECT TERM IS NATIVE AMERICAN
3. Cerrone - "Supernature": Amazing.
4. Doe Deere - "One Touch": We're going to talk about Doe Deere a lot in the new few weeks. And by "a lot" we mean probably like two posts. But they will be amazing, like this song is. What is it? AMAZING.
5. Chairlift - "Evident Utensil": Amazing.
6. Zeigeist - "Tar Heart": Not the Knife...

and...

amazing.

7. The Saturdays - "If This I Love": Amazingly samples "Situation" by Yaz.
8. The Ting Tings - "Great DJ (Calvin Harris remix)": Amazed at the fact that we're still not over it.
9. Crown Heights Affair - "You Gave Me Love": Amazing.
10. Mystery Jets - "Two Doors Down": AMAZING.
11. Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown - "No Air": If you don't know what we're going to say about this song there's nothing we can do for you.
12. 808 State - "Pacific State": Vintage amazing.

We give our Muxtape 100%.

We're pleasantly surprised by Donna Summer's new single

We're going to go see Donna Summer perform tonight in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan. It's where the gays live.

We kind of didn't care about Donna's new album, but after watching her on Letterman last night, we're totally into it. Not as good as the Hercules album but we'll give it a solid 75%.

...

That was quite a boring post, wasn't it?

Stop the goddamn, motherfucking presses

Two amazing things happened today:

1. We realized that, sometime in the recent past, Sophie Ellis-Bextor performed a pop show dressed as a rabbit and

2. Sophie released two new songs via her MySpace (HerSpace?). Now, if you've been keeping up on All Things Sophie (probably not on this web site as we only update once every two weeks, if you're lucky) you'll know that she was supposed to release a Great Hits compilation, only for the world at large, in an unprecendented display of good judgment, realized that La Bex is one of the most consistently amazing pop ladies of our time and deserves a new album full of awesome songs. Good call, World At Large.

In normal circumstances we'd lament someone (kind of) re-releasing "Off and On", a track that California Roisin Murphy already trashed and has been on the Internet since approx. the fall of Rome (and we don't mean central Italy circa September 2007, arewerite), but beggars can't be choosers, and we'll take new Sophie tracks where we can get them (although if someone makes her record a Lil Chris cover we're calling it quits).

The other song is called "Heartbreak Make Me a Dancer" (of course it is...) which doesn't really go out of its way to break the straight 206 (approximate) singles Sophie has released featuring the themes of love, dancing, or some variation thereof. For some reason we picture Sophie singing this song in the studio strapped to a chair while Debbie Harry in Hairspray screams: "COME ON NOW! ONE-TWO CHA CHA CHA! ONE-TWO CHA CHA CHA!"

Yes, clearly we're really that gay.